My Immortal
by Lithium Amaranth
Summary: This was inspired by a youtube video by Asarathwitch. Slade has killed Raven, Beast boy plunges into insanity and is about to make the most horrible decision of his life...until Raven guides him. SUICIDE BB/RAE-ONESHOT


"Raven?" a small almost whimpering voice called.

"Raven!?" the voice exclaimed.

Beast boy ran as fast as he could to Raven's bloody body. He couldn't seem to reach her fast enough. Each step took hours to reach the cement beneath him. He ran as fast as he could to her but not even the fastest animal on the planet could have taken him to her in time. There was about fifty yards between them but to Beast boy it could have been miles.

He let his weak knees fall beside her as he scooped her in his arms and tried to fight back the tears.

"Raven?" he asked in almost a whisper.

"RAVEN!" he shouted at her, his voice cracking and the tears on the edge of his lashes.

Her face was calm, so calm. She could have been sleeping or meditating and you couldn't tell the difference. Her deep violet hair framed her placid face perfectly. Her pale complexion slightly more pale as more and more blood seeped out of her open wound.

Beast boy desperately felt around her neck and put his head against he chest, trying to hear her breath or a heartbeat. Silence. He could not hear the life giving tha-thump that he longed to hear again. He could no longer feel her chest moving to signal her slow breathing.

"No" he whispered, squeezing Raven tight in his arms and weeping into her neck.

"No Raven don't do this! Please Raven! I need you! WE need you!" Beast boy shouted. Silence. She did not move and inch, her lifeless body lay limp in his warm loving arms. Her flesh losing more and more color and her skin growing cold.

"…I love you…" Beast boy whispered, when he didn't hear an answer he knew that was it. She was gone and she could never come back. He had been too late. Too late to say "I love you", too late to ask for a bite to eat, to late to give her a kiss…too late to save her life.

He cried relentlessly on her shoulder, while the other titans looked at her and Beast boy in both horror and sadness. Starfire was weeping on Robin's shoulder while he was fighting the tear back himself. Cyborg sat with his head in his hands, his human eye leaking salty tears for not only his lost teammate, but his lost sister.

At the opposite end of the abandoned clockworks warehouse lay another dead body, the cause of Raven's death. Slade. The battle was intense, unfortunately during the battle, Raven was wounded but refused to heal herself. She dropped out of the air and slipped into unconsciousness. None of the titans had noticed until Robin caught Slade off guard with a kick to the stomach which propelled him under a moving clockwork device. He was killed instantly.

Beast boy wept harder and harder. He should have noticed that she wasn't there. He could never stop looking at her back at the tower and he chose now to lose sight of her. This couldn't be happening, this isn't real. Not today. Not on the day he was going to tell her he loved her.

--

'Beast boy' a throaty yet angelic voice called. Beast boy turned around to see a violet haired maiden calling to him. She had a small smile placed gently on her lips.

He began to walk towards her, her feature now becoming more clear in the thick fog around them.

"Raven?" he asked himself.

The fog cleared around the woman smiling at him, her chakra glowing radiantly on her forehead. Best boy smiled wide and he began to run toward her. He was getting closer and closer to her. She still smiled at him comfortingly. He was so close to her. He lunged forward, ready to kiss her and let out all his emotions and feeling he had for her, ready to tell her how much she truly meant to him. He was ready but then she disappeared.

Like she had never existed, she had evaporated into the fog as it cleared, leaving Beast boy in complete darkness.

Suddenly a picture formed before him and laying at his feet, was the dead body of his beloved Raven. The same body that he had seen that year ago.

"RAVEN!" Beast boy shouted as he bolted forward in bed. Beads of sweat running down his face and his arms shaking.

He looked at the familiar walls of his room as they slowly came into focus. He glanced over at his calendar and sobbed. Today was the anniversary of Raven's death. A year ago today, Slade had brutally wounded her and she was too stubborn to heal herself.

"Goddamn it Raven why didn't you heal yourself? You could have lived!" Beast boy sobbed. He looked up to his walls and began to cry even harder. They were no longer the green they used to be. They were covered in pictures and some very good drawings, and all of them were of Raven.

The other titans thought he need help to get over Raven. He had gone to many therapists and yet he could never stop thinking of Raven. Everything reminded him of her. He missed her so much, though he had been planning today out thoroughly. He knew what he needed to do.

He jumped out of bed and dressed himself, but not in his usual jumpsuit. He had put on the nice clothes he had planned to wear when he wanted to first ask out Raven. A silk Maroon flannel shirt with black dress pants and a loose black tie. He walked to the living room to have some breakfast.

"Oh hey BB. What's up?" Cyborg asked. As usual the changeling ignored him and pulled out a kettle ad a packet of tea. He was like that every morning, he would always drink herbal tea, read one of Raven's books, and mediate on the roof too. He did anything and everything her could to feel closer to her. He wished with all of his heart that by some miracle she would come back, but just knowing that's it wouldn't be possible darkened his mood.

Cyborg sighed and turned back to the TV. He looked at his two friends and gave them a defeated look. Beats boy had not played videogames, told one joke or said 'dude' since Raven's death. They feared that not only had they lost Raven, but Beast boy as well.

"Beast boy. Would you not like to watch the Television with us? It is quite enjoyable." Starfire suggested. Beast boy merely shook his head and poured the water into the tea mug and left. Robin sighed.

"We need to help him somehow." Robin said

"But how are we to do this? Our friend is as dismal as the dreary doldrums of the Glibuliton galaxy." Starfire said

"Yeah man face it. He's been this way for a year. I don't think he'll ever get over her. He's been totally head over heels in love with her for years and now she's gone. I hate to say it but I think he might be a lost cause." Cyborg said depressedly. The other titans stared down at the floor, remembering their friend.

--

"Hey has anyone seen Beast boy?" Robin asked. It was 10' o clock and no one had seem him all day.

"Nope" Cyborg said.

"I'm sorry but I have not" Starfire said.

"Let me check his communicator." Robin said. He clicked on the read button on the side to find his teammates communicator signal.

"So….where is he?" Cyborg asked. Robin made a face at his own communicator.

"His room?" he said. He, Starfire and Cyborg all rushed down the hallway to Beast boy's room and opened the door. There, lying on top of his lower bunk was his communicator….and a note.

Robin picked up the not and read it out loud.

"_Dear Titans,_

_I'm sorry it has to be this way but I just can't do it. I can't live my life while Raven's not here. It's not life without her. So I'm leaving the titans permanently. I can never come back and please don't try to find me. I hope you all know what this means. I'm sorry._

_Beast boy"_

Starfire was the first to star asking questions "Where has he gone? We must bring him back!" she exclaimed.

"Calm down Star he's probably gonna come back. This is BB we're talking about. He just needs a little time…" Cyborg said

"No" Robin said almost above a whisper "He's not leaving the titans. He's leaving…period." he said

"I do not understand" Starfire said. Robin closed his eyes tight and crunched the paper in his hands.

"He's going to kill himself"

--

Beats boy stood atop the highest building in Jump City. In his hand he held a small blue box that held a small black, onyx stone carved into a raven with rubies encrusting the wings. He had gotten it specially made and wanted to give it Raven for her next birthday….he never got the chance.

"I'm sorry everyone. But I just can't do this anymore." he said, holding the necklace in his hands tightly. "I love you so much Raven." he whispered.

Tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"Raven? Look…I'm sorry" the green changeling said

"For what? You're not the one who…" the violet haired empath replied

"No…I'm sorry that…he broke your heart"

Beast boy watched through his eyelids as one of the most touching memories he had with Raven replayed itself in his mind.

"…you think you're alone Raven…but you're not"

Beast boy began to cry harder as he heard himself say those words again in his mind. He opened his teary eyes and looked out above Jump City. Through the air he could hear the faint sound of music…the kind of music that you would listen to when you're this depressed…

"…_these wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_And you still have_

_All of me…"_

The song came from the radio in an apartment nearby. He knew the song too well and he knew that it fit this very moment. He let the tears flow more freely and lifted his foot off the building and into the air in front of him. He was about to lean forward when an unknown force stopped him.

"Beast boy" a throaty yet angelic voice called voice called. Beast boy could see with his eyes closed, a small person shaped light coming toward him.

"Beast boy don't do this" the voice said to him. He didn't know why but he listened to the voice and took his foot back and stood on the edge of the building.

"Beast boy" the voice said again, seeming closer. Beast boy smiled, he hadn't heard that voice in a year.

"Raven." he whispered.

"Shhh" the voice said. The light was now much closer and Beast boy could now see the familiar silhouette of his beloved Raven, her short hair blowing gently against her face, even though there was no breeze. Her white cloak billowing softly around her legs.

"Beast boy. You have to let me go. It isn't your time yet, and when it is, I'll be waiting." She said. Beast boy smiled.

"You always did look better in white" he chuckled. Raven blushed and smiled. Beast boy's face then became serious. "Raven, I love you" he said

"I know. And I love you too" she smiled. Beast boy held up the necklace he had in his hands and reached to wrap it around her neck.

"It won't do any good Beast boy. I'm not here." she said. Beast boy sighed.

"Don't go" he said.

"I have to but you shouldn't come along. It isn't your time yet." Raven said softly as she began to float upwards "Beast boy, listen, you have to let me go" was the last thing she said before she disappeared.

Beast boy let a small smile grace his lips as he let the last few tears roll down his cheeks.

"Okay. I'll do anything for you Raven. I'll let you go. Goodbye." he whispered to the sky. And with that he turned on his heel back to titans tower and the rest of his family.


End file.
